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‘Twas a Very Germy Christmas


A sniffle, a sneeze, a kerchief, “Ah Choo!” — here are our germs, we’re spreading to you.

‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through your house,

Not a creature was stirring, ‘cept one single louse.

The children were snuggled all warm in their beds,

While the louse laid her eggs on all of their heads.

A gift to our cousins, we gave you our lice.

You’d think that’s enough, that that would suffice.

But a sniffle, a sneeze, a kerchief, “Ah Choo!”

Also our germs, we’re giving to you.

To Grandma, and Timmy, Delilah, Aunt Sue,

We’re goin’ back home but we’ve left you our flu.

Your throat feels a tickle and your nose starts to trickle.

Can it be true that your health is so fickle?

No relief to be found, no one symptom to tame.

You wince, and you shout, and call them by name!

“On NyQuil! On Tussin!, Oscillo, and Vicksen!”

You’re so full of drugs, you swear you be blitzen!

And into your room walks the great man in red,

Santa is here and he sits on your bed.

He waves to your germs tho’ they’re really quite small,

“Spread around! Spread around! Spread around all!”

Itchy scalp and a fever, the chills, you’re so sick,

“No more relatives EVER!” you moan to St. Nick.

He smiles and laughs and says, quite sincere,

“You’ll do it again and the very next year.”

As quick as he came now he says he must go.

You’re so happy to see him, you wish it weren’t so.

Did you hear him exclaim as he flew out of sight,

“Merry Christmas to all, and to all a flea bite”?

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah and Happy Holidays! Stay healthy and wash your hands. Inspired by the famous poem “A Visit from St. Nicholas,” written in 1822 by Clement Moore.

Published inPen Name Jane

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